Could it be so simple? Yes and no. Yes, because you can certainly learn how and eventually do it on your own in a timely and efficient manner. No, because once we build a story, the layers begin to pile on until the authenticity is buried so deep that we can no longer see or find  it. The problem is that you have to be ready. When you make the choice to live pain and dis-ease free, your world will likely have to shift. All the things you have tolerated and stuffed deep down into compartments within your mind will come up and become intolerable. This process is much akin to cleaning the messy closet or garage. You have to first take everything out just to see what’s in there. It gets messier before it gets cleaner. This is the stage you often find yourself saying, what have I done? Then you sort through and decide what stays and what goes. letting go of what no longer serves you is liberating. As you begin to put what stays back inside in an orderly fashion, you see all the space and can breathe again.

Sometimes, the habit of just throwing all the stuff you don’t know what to do with it in the closet/garage will require multiple cleanings until you finally say enough! I don’t want to keep cleaning this closet out over and over! Then you learn how to deal with things as they come up, put them in their proper place, and maintain your space. No, it is not an easy process and certainly not as easy as taking a pill and not feeling the pain. The process, though, allows you to feel, to be yourself, to live fully. Having experienced both ends of the spectrum, I will not go back to sleepwalking and stuffing my emotions into the dark recesses of my mind. I have seen and felt what it did to my body. I don’t want to go back there and I do not have to because I am responsible for my happiness, my life, my emotions. You are responsible for yours. That is as simple as it gets.

Are you taking responsibility for your part? The longer I live, the more aware I become, the more I notice that nothing is ever black and white. The shades of grey are overlapping, complex, sometimes messy which makes it easy to avoid taking responsibility for our part. It makes it easy to say the 1% and the 99%. However, that 99% are just as much of the problem as the 1%. We buy the goods without any knowledge of where, how, or by whom they are made. We turn a blind eye when the bombs are falling in the name of democracy because we like the freedom to drive a V8 and consume, consume, consume. It is easy to say our partner no longer understands me when we don’t even understand ourselves. It is easy to say the economy is so bad there are no other jobs that this one that makes you so miserable when you did not vote for those people “representing” you and making the under the table, closed door deals that very much effect jobs and economy.

We blame. We scratch our heads and wonder. We wish and hope for better. All it takes is one choice to take responsibility for our thoughts, words, and deeds. Can you do it? Better yet, will you do it?

Think about this for a few moments before you continue reading, please. What did you come up with?  Did it have to do with a pet? A child? A lover? I have been thinking about this lately. A lot, actually. When I was a little girl, there was a jewelry store that had these buttons that said, “I am loved.” For me, there is this warm, expansiveness, light in being that penetrates into me and radiates out of me. Sometimes, for me, I feel it when I know the impact I have made on another. Sometimes it is in a hug (especially after a yoga class!) or in a gift that is so unique because the giver really listened to me. Sometimes, like recently, it was comes from a dog.  I met  a Rottweiler who was smelling my friend. He looked at me briefly and returned to my friend. Suddenly, he turned back to me and started lavishing me in love. After he finished licking my ears, my face, my neck and legs, he stood over me (I was kneeling) and then leaned into me with all 110 pounds of muscle. Having had a Rottie once, I knew this is how they show love. I drank it in. Sometimes, I feel loved without any reason like when I walked with Roy during the Walk for the Fight benefiting Parkinson’s disease. I didn’t know Roy, but I knew my friend worked with him and liked him. I saw him at the start line alone and I ran over to walk with him. He pushed his walked and I shuffled next to him. We maybe said 10 words. But at the end, I felt his energy of Love.

It is so easy these days to feel lonely, even in a world where people thousands of miles away connect to us through internet, the silence of the house can be oppressive. I feel and see the desperation of loneliness driving people to take whatever crumbs of affection they can get, even when it is not healthy or honest. Here’s the thing, though, that love we are all so craving, starts from within ourselves. We have to tap into that feeling of being loved and give that to ourselves. Generate the energy because that is what will attract more love to you! I won’t lie, this is not an easy process. It takes practice. What I promise you, though, is this will shift everything for you in ways you cannot even begin to imagine. Hold on to your seats, loves, because this is going to rock your world!

PS- I love you!

People like to be recognized and it feels good to be complimented out of the blue.

2. Hold Back on the Criticism

Does it really matter? If there is truly something wrong, speak that compassionately and succinctly expressing what is wrong and what you would prefer and why (that may be harder since many do not know why they want what we want). Let go of the small stuff and focus on the good stuff. Repeat #1 on that stuff you do like.

3. Make the First Move

You, yes you, speak up. Say hello. Say thank you. Say how much you care.  Apologize. Life is too short to wait. Conger up all the good thoughts you can, feel the energy shifting in you, and then infuse that into your words. Powerful stuff.

Is it the influence of anger, envy, greed, apathy or fear?
Is it inconvenient?
Is it the only child syndrome where we are asked to share something we would much rather keep to ourselves, be it money, food. ideas. love?
Is it just too damn scary? Sticking up for the person all of your friends are making fun of is a lot easier to go along with group think, even if that group think is wrong.
Do you believe the illusion that your bad behavior is in some way justified? Far easy to justify behavior than to see the widespread suffering we inflict on others every single day.
Is it because you feel trapped?
Is it because you just don’t have the energy? Maybe it’s not enough sleep or maybe because you’re filling your physical fuel tank full of crap.

Is it because you’re too distracted? Who has time for good deeds when she’s in the middle of a hot game of angry birds?

I am just not buying into average anymore. What is being presented to me as the options for leading our country is below average and frankly, could use some lessons on playground etiquette. The people leading our children’s classrooms, the people running businesses, the people making the big choices that effects our food, water, and security are average. Enough. I want GREAT. I want INNOVATIVE. I want someone who says, “Oh, yeah? You really believe it won’t work? Why not?” I want people brave enough to say, “This is not working and we need to start from scratch, salvaging the best parts and throwing every thing else away.” I want people to be able to turn their back on being bought and do what is truly right. I do not believe that I am the only one who feels this way, nor do I believe that of those people there aren’t some who would step up and lead if they thought others would support their efforts.

Unfortunately, average is the norm. People have stopped thinking for themselves and just started numbly digesting the rhetoric that keeps the greed and fear factor firmly rooted in our society. And just like all that fast food that is consumed by the masses eventually leads to disease, so too does the averageness disease our society. I don’t have time for average anymore. Life is too short and there is a war building on our horizon. I believe with all my heart, the army of people, like me, who have chosen to wake up, co-create, be innovative, love for no reason, and live a model of abundance (giving back what we take in order to complete the cycle, rather than just take, take, take, deplete, deplete, deplete) will win this war because we know the secret of survival. The question then is, are you in or are you content with average?

I am posting this in the financial abunadnace section because here’s the thing.A recent study at John Hopkins University showed that, “Between 1996 and 2007, the number of visits where individuals were prescribed antidepressants with no psychiatric diagnoses increased from 59.5 percent to 72.7 percent,” according to Dr. Ramin Mojtabai, associate professor at John Hopkins University and lead author of the study. “[A]nd the share of providers who prescribed antidepressants without a concurrent psychiatric diagnosis increased from 30 percent of all non-psychiatrist physicians in 1996 to 55.4 percent in 2007.” Antidepressants are now the third most prescribed class of medications in the United States, with lipid (fat) regulators (cholesterol medications), and antipsychotics being about antidepressants. In 2010, $300.3 billion dollars were spent on prescription medications. That’s a lot of money. Particularly considering feeding emotions through food and feeling disconnected are what drives that industry, apparently.

It is time to extend a smile, a hand, a hug for the simple purpose of extending Love for no reason. Hold the door. Pay a compliment. Buy a lunch for someone who is obviously hungry. Ask a kid what the best part of their day was and then tell them what the best part of YOUR day was (it is called a conversation). Give hugs. Find your own way of extending the love, just please start right now!

Pizza is my favorite food, but it had been a long time since I had been able to eat cheap, frozen pizza because I had the pleasure of experiencing esquisit pizza. The kind with the perfect crust where it’s soft inside and lightly crispy on the outside with those delicious little bubbles. The freshest incredidients of the most unusual combinations that wake the taste buds up and dance with delight. The kind that you wish you had a second pie even though you know  you couldn’t eat another bite without exploding. The kind that you dream about for a month while you are out of the country and the first place you go eat when you return. Once you have that, you could eat cheap pizza, and I suppose if you are drunk at 2 am it may taste good at the moment, but your body won’t be so happy the next day.

No, we are not talking pizza. My friends analogy is about sex. Here is what I have learned over the years about pizza, er, sex.

It is like a dance. The person taking the lead at the moment is typically doing what they like done. Hard and passionate or light and sensual, you get a clue what they like. The problem lies when that is not what you like. Here’s where chemistry matters. Just like growing up, there are those few students that learn super fast and always get A’s. There weren’t many. The rest have to work hard, some doing better than others, usually excelling in one particular area over the others. I think partners are like that. The A students are the partners whose chemistry matches yours and little instruction is needed. The rest can receive instruction and adapt to some of your needs, but not likely all, yet enough to make it worthwhile and lovely. The rest, well, no amount of instruction in the world will help- not because they are dense, but because you, my friend, have settled for that $2.99 cardboard pizza with fake cheese and mystery meat.

Your body is your equipment in the game of sex. I know men are visual. Did you know women are visual, too. That extra 10 pounds you put on around you midsection is as undesirable as when your partner packs on pounds that you find undesirable. When you stop taking care of yourself, you go from gourmet pizza to high-end frozen pizza. You have to support your body in order to support your sex. What you put in your body can make it more efficient or can dull it, just like the type of gas you put in your car. The cleaner the gas, the cleaner the food, the better working the body is. Not to mention, what you put in will effect the way you taste and smell. If your diet has a lot of corn based (and if you eat a lot of fast food or processed foods, it has a whole lot) products, your body will digest that much like a fast working compost bin. The smell is a lot like rotting corn mush that oozes out in the most private of areas. Think about that next time you wonder why reciprocation is not happening.

Strength, endurance, flexibility, healthy vascular system (you know where the blood goes and if the blood ain’t flowing right, something won’t be up to the task) all make sex better. Gentleman- of all sexual preferences- yoga improves sex. Yep. It’s true. Yoga strengthens your whole body, with a particular emphasis on your lower core. It teaches you how to breathe slower and deeper which strengthens the heart and lungs. Yoga teaches the mind to focus. The muscles become more flexible, which opens a world of possibilities when connecting with your partner. Yoga also reminds us that we are all one. The philosophy of yoga can have a huge impact on the quality of your relationship both inside and outside of the pleasure department.

This last part is something I am only starting to learn about. Herbs. No, not the kind you illegally smoke. The kind that nature provides us to support our mind and body. There are herbs that bring your body into balance, get the blood flowing just right, calm the mind. There are scents that wake up desire. Libido has never been a huge issue for me (unless… see the paragraph on the body). I have to admit, when I first heard about this, I had doubts. However, when I tried The Herbalista’s libido boosting tea, I noticed first, my body tingling. Then, the sensation you have when you know you’re going to be with the person who turns you on and rocks your world (I so hope you have experienced that, loves) washed over me. Then she added the aromatherapy, with a wicked smile I might add, to the room and I was putty, a “hot mess” as my friend says. A week later she shared the libido boosting brownie and oh my! I am sold on the power of herbs!

Sure, pizza is pizza, but cheap pizza does nothing for the body, mind, and soul and just leaves you hungry for more. If you have the choice to step up the quality of pizza, why wouldn’t you? Great pizza, my friends, starts with you! Bon apetite.

PS- Gentleman, if you want to learn more about stepping up the quality of your pizza, join us Saturday, February 4, 2012.

Listen, after watching Gov. Brewer put her finger in the face of the President of the United States because he called  her on her inaccuracy of a previous meeting with him and the GOP candidates  showing their ignorance, I just want to remind everyone some pretty critical lessons we all learned as children:

• Play fair and share.
• If you hurt someone, apologize and try to understand what you did so you don’t do it again.
• Clean up after yourself (this is a particularly good one for a certain Italian ship captain)
• Don’t take things that aren’t yours (hmmm…lots of corporations need to heed that one!)
• Live a balanced life: math, science and reading are equally important as physical activity, art, choir, and play
• When doing something dangerous, such as crossing the street or going out in the world (field trips), hold hands, look both ways, be aware of your surroundings, and look out for each other by holding hands
• Everything will eventually die…and so will we
• Play hard, rest when you need to, and never pass up affection
• Use your imagination
• Resolve fights without using your fists and make-up to become friends afterwards (this one served me well- she’s still my best friend after 27 years!)
• Eat three balanced meals a day and a snack
• Teamwork gets the job done so much faster
• Help out the kids who can’t help themselves
• Be kind
• Too much tv rots your brain, so read a book instead.

Would you try it? Print this list and share it with everyone you know. Give it a 29 day challenge. See how many of these you do every day for thirty days. Comment back and let me know how you’re doing. If you complete the 30 days, let me know and your name will go in for a drawing for a package of 6 private sessions (yoga, holistic personal training, or personal development). Join the challenge here!

In full disclosure, I am an Apple shareholder. Anyone who knows me knows that I invested, quite indignantly, in a company I whole-heartedly believe in at a time not many believed in them. I co-bought my first Mac back in 1996 and my first laptop in 1999 and this blog is produced on my MacBook. I have three ipods (my original one long ago died) and an apple sticker on my car. I am blissfully happy my tiny amount of shares have elevated so excessively from the genius that is Apple.

The profit report got me thinking, though. What is the difference? People love the ease and intuitive nature of Apples (okay, those people who are less analytical love it, the rest take some convincing). It’s fun. It’s interesting. It is usually ahead of it’s time. To the best of my knowledge, they are a conscious business when it comes to production and employees. I have never heard genocidal tales coming out of Africa where Apple takes over villages in order to acquire the resources needed to make the highly desire iphone. To the best of my knowledge no war has ever been falsely started in order to acquire the resources, either.

Here’s what I have learned since 2008. A lot of people have struggled (and continue to struggle) but $13.1 billion dollars in sales tells me a lot of people are not struggling. Like Steve Jobs once advised a graduating class of university students, “Stay hungry.” If you are hungry enough, you will do what it takes to survive. I suppose business would work the same way. Whatever thought, attention, investment put into something to support it will grow it. I have been listening to Dr. Ron Paul talk about pulling all foreign aid and bringing our troops home. I wonder what would happen if we pulled all subsidies for 1 year. Reorganize the federal government and all its administrations, and bring the geniuses from Apple in to spend a year looking how what is most needed in our country to have a successful, lucrative country that invests in its human capital first and foremost and then uses additional investments in helping other countries grow into healthy, sustainable models. What if we said enough to the secret brotherhood of the wealthiest men alive that seem to control every decision and politician in the United States- you know the ones who have much blood on their hands from benefiting from wars and assassinations? Would we cease to exist? Or would we become the dream America is built upon rather than the bizarre nightmare she has become? Could the 99.9% get along together long enough to figure out our common interests and let go of our damned positions? Or will we just keep on keeping on, noses buried in the ipad, earphones drowning out the reality of what we have made?

Easy. We are all multifaceted. I know that pain will happen. It is how we grow. I also know that suffering exists because we cannot remove ourselves from that darkness of pain, internalizing and projecting onto ourselves the messages of being unworthy and unlovable. People get stuck being a victim, even though they may loathe the perpetual victim, the role is just easier than taking responsibility for our own happiness.

I loved the movie “Michael”. He embraced all the great pleasures (particularly sugar, challenges with bulls, and dancing) life has to offer. I think if you believe in God, you are the way God experiences life. You think God wants to be a sad sack of “poor me”? Or do you think God wants to have fun? Personally, I think we do enough to piss God off on an on-going basis. I want to elevate the mood and energy, not just for God, but for me! If that makes me a hedonist, well so be it. Life if too damn short, people, to be filling it with victimhood, anxiety, anger and depression.