How can the yama’s (ethical precepts) of yoga help heal a relationship?

Nonviolence in thought, word and action. How often do you call yourself names- “I’m so stupid!”, “I’m fat!”? How often do you think mean things about your partner? Come on now. Be honest. We have all done it. What if rather than thinking (or even saying or doing) bad, mean things, we were to look at the underlying emotions and try to understand the roots of the bad behavior OR deal with it by compassionately confronting it? Can you state your observation of the behavior, words, or actions your partner does (or maybe doesn’t do) that brings mean thoughts to your mind? Just pick one thing at a time and address it completely before moving on. Then state how those words or (in)actions make you feel. Next state what you need. Follow it all up with a specific request. Here’s an example: Sweetheart, when I spend time cooking a meal for us and you show up hours late, I feel afraid and disrepected, because I did not know if you were safe and I feel like you do not care enough about our time together to communicate with me. Would you be willing to call me and let me know when you are going to be late so I do not worry or take your lateness as something more than it is?

Truthfulness  Be compassionately truthful with yourself and to your partner, all the time. Of course if your partner asks if she looks fat in an outfit, and the outfit is not flattering, say that rather than lying or saying yes. If your partner wants a little loving and you are just not in the mood, be honest and make a date for when you can express your physical appreciation of one another. When you are compassionately honest with yourself and your partner, you build trust and a safe space to be able to respectfully discuss the hard stuff.

Nonstealing In a relationship, I think this is about taken one another for granted, stealing the opportunity to grow, especially together.

Chastity In a relationship? Well, this is totally about personal integrity in this context. What are your values? How do express those? What are your partners values? How do you both remain flexible and respectful of the differences without compromising your own integrity?

Noncovetedness Well, hopefully you and your partner had this talk before you became partners. However, if you find yourself in that tender space that you’re thinking the grass may be greener in other pastures, have a heart-to-heart talk before you go sampling. What are you missing that looks so good over “there”? What are you not getting? What do you need? There’s a pretty good chance that if your partner wants to keep you (or vice versa) a come to Jesus talk will instigate the desired change. If not, well, why on earth would you stay?